As Lancaster points out, the demand for cocoa has led to deforestation worldwide; plus, access to it is becoming more difficult and expensive. Alternative chocolate is “made without cocoa,” but it still tastes remarkably similar to your standard bar, she says. In the U.K., WNWN Food Labs replaces cocoa beans with ingredients like cereals and legumes. My wish, my prayer, is that my wife can somehow rid herself of this dreaded disease before it’s too late. She has a husband who feels he has “failed” to reach her, and three kids who no longer recognize her, but whose collective love continues unabated and unconditionally.
But you’re there, so I have to accept it or be damned. Damned to be walking wounded and back in my disease without taking a drink. You were like most relationships I had in the past. You started like a grease fire in the kitchen and quickly grew out of control. Once it started going badly, I knew it in the very core of me, but chose to deny the obvious. (it was like ten elephants in the room having a full on orgy, and i acted like it was just Wednesday).
Chief Medical Editor, Harvard Health Publishing
I didn’t even look at you the whole time I was there. I knew it wouldn’t be good to talk to you. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you.
You helped me to still see the magic in my life even when I was on my knees and in the dirt. Even if from the outside I was hurting others and living a crazy existence, you made it all seem worth it. Because it was you and me against the world. I would panic if you weren’t around.
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It sometimes creeps up on me unexpectedly how much I miss you. And other times I am glad you are gone. I had to admit my complete powerlessness over you in order to release your grip on my existence. But as I bear witness to you ripping through the lives of my friends, my family members, and my patients, I find it nearly impossible to surrender again. You would think I would have accepted this by now—that you want us dead—after battling with you my entire life.
- The holidays are your pride and joy, and you’ve taken on the responsibility to get everyone in the spirit.
- Parents can just tell their kids he had to rush order their presents this year.
Tough days might come, but with our supportive sober community, you’re never alone. Whether transitioning from a rehab center or another sober living in Los Angeles, we’re here to help. Our success stories statnd testament. Contact us for a confidential chat and evaluation. And the obsession is gone; I don’t miss you. And I don’t blame you either anymore.
Goodbye. That is all
I had never really acknowledged the massive devastation that our relationship was causing in other areas of my life. I never blamed you for it at the time, but really I had ended up stuck in a life I didn’t want because of you. I had settled for destructive relationships, had become resentful and cruel and didn’t care if I was disloyal. I thought I could trust you to always fix things. Is it because I tried to pull away from you?
I couldn’t conceive of life without you, because you were still the only thing I could rely on to diminish the fear. But I couldn’t really deny any more the skeleton that I had become, the way my hair was falling out, that you had destroyed my body and skewed my mind. Now I knew you could be physically soothing as well. I only did it for the physical pain, but as I walked home through the streets I noticed I wasn’t as scared of being outside as I usually was. To be honest, when it’s all said and done, I’m probably the one at fault here. I really think you just wanted to be my buddy in the beginning.
Real food.
Three years on since we last spoke. That last night after our last fling even I was unsure if it was our final kiss but I knew that I couldn’t trust you ever again and that, in fact, it was me, not you. I heard what I wanted to hear and lied to myself time and time again. I also concluded that although you were the around for and caused many of my hardships, You were only a catalyst and not the true root of my disease.
So many people were hurt by our toxic relationship. So much time wasted and money spent chasing a dream, a high, an ideal state of being that, with you, was never going to exist, ever. I tried to make room for you in my goodbye to alcohol letter life but you wanted every part of it. All my mornings spent cursing you in sickening physical, mental and emotional pain. All my nights in foggy vagaries of distraction leading to numbness and always ending in darkness.